The following is a satirical article for The DisreGuardian, a series of articles published annually for The Guardian’s April Fool’s issue. Features will resume publishing normal content next week.

Alphonse Pierre’s Off the Dome column covers songs, mixtapes, albums, scenes, snippets, movies, Meek Mill tweets, fashion ...

Sophie, the Duchess of Edinburgh, was effortlessly elegant as she helped to launch the 2027 Tour de France in Edinburgh this ...

Launceston is the right size and pace for someone my age who no longer needs the small hours and big games and names. Any ...

The ’60s is the bubble that refuses to burst. More than half a century later, that decade of hazy hippy dreams continues to ...

I n the vast and tumultuous world of ‘One Piece,’ power and ambition collide as pirates, warriors, and revolutionary leaders ...

You just need to decide if you want yellow, white, or rose gold plating — or OK ... A long-lasting temporary tattoo kit for when you're bored of your current ink situation and wanna mix it up — for a ...

The sun is shining, flowers, are blooming, birds are singing - spring is finally here! Start the new season downtown during First Friday from 5-10 p.m. on Friday, April 4. April and the spring season ...

19.Jennifer Lopez had an infinity symbol with "Jennifer" and "Ben" inked on her ribcage for Ben Affleck. Following their ...

13.Though Amber Rose and Wiz Khalifa have remained cordial after their divorce, the model still went through with covering up the portrait of the "Black and Yellow" rapper she once had on her arm.